The title of this post comes from one of my most frequent observations about critics.  They are very good at tearing down and pointing out the negative in a given situation, but less good at building up, of encouraging, of building bridges.  Good news is not news; drama and bad news are.  Of course, the critic, or activist, or opponent will often argue that it is not their place to fix the problems they see; others are responsible for that instead.

So, then, why bring this up here?  Well, I suggest that one of the most important things we can do in our practice of the Jedi way is to be diplomatic, to build bridges, and to work with others on a similar path to that end.   I was very encouraged by a discussion in another Jedi online community regarding the new president-elect following the US election.  One of this person’s most outspoken opponents spoke of his desire to honor and respect the outcome of the process and expressed hope that things might just work out better than he had expressed previously.  What was even better was that no one gloated over the election’s outcome; instead there was a drawing together, a recognition of the validity of each person’s point of view, experience, and perspective.  It was wonderful to see and gave me hope for our online communities. 

I know that this place is still quiet and things are not yet back up.  It is all too easy to assume the worst, to forget that what we all do online ideally is only a part of our lives, and that what we do offline is the greater part and that sometimes that greater part needs our full attention, which is the case here.  I have definitely learned that for so very many of us who choose the way of the Jedi, one of the greatest of the trials we face is patience.   I, for one, am very willing to wait.  This waiting has been very instructive to me.  I have had to practice discretion, to not speculate about what I do not know for sure.  I have learned to keep my counsel and practice the time-honored teaching of my father growing up — “Keep your mouth shut, and your eyes and ears open.”  “Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”  In these past months, I have learned to let go of my concern for what others may think of me and not feel compelled to defend myself, my choices, and my decisions.  I participate when I have something to say and as prompted to by the Force (at least as I see it).  I also choose not to participate in communities and/or discussions that are not constructive or that promote divisiveness, negativity, and drama.  My life and all it entails is quite enough for me.  I walk this path to lift me and those around me up, not to tear myself or others down.  I am deeply honored by and grateful for those who share this road and their experiences on the journey, in good times and in difficulty, who by so doing help shed more light on our common walk of this Jedi way.

 Realistically speaking, we are better than some people, and others are better than we are.  Each of us has been gifted by the Force with various talents, abilities, strengths, opportunities and challenges.  Since we are each unique, no one has exactly the same strengths, gifts and talents as another person.  Some of us are very capable physical adepts, who are gifted at tasks of strength and physical prowess.  Others are very knowledgeable, some in diverse subjects, others in a more narrow, specific focus.  Others have great insight and empathy, still others work in the healing professions.  Others are great diplomats and visionaries.  Still others are able to manage skillfully and are great organizers, talented in logistics.  That just scratches the surface.  Some of us have physical limitations, caused by health issues, accident or injury or disability.  Others of us can’t spell or write well, even though we have great ideas and important things to say.  Others of us are limited by lack of experience.  Insecurity, all the related emotions, overattachment — sometimes we deal with these things better than at other times.  The truth is, we all have gifts; we all have limitations of one kind or another.  So then, what does humility have to do with this?  More importantly, what does it have to do with us?

Humility is the ability to see yourself as you actually are.  It requires unflinching self awareness and honesty.  It requires acknowledging, understanding, and coming to terms with all that we are — the good, the great, the bad, the ugly — the light and darkness we each carry inside ourselves and share with others we encounter.  The Code requires Jedi to master themselves, their emotions, to act in knowledge.  This is a life-long task.  One of the aspects of this path that I truly appreciate is that we are rooted in a fictional mythos.  As such, we can pull our fictive kin and brethren’s worldview and experience, whether from the films, games, or novels, apart and liken it to our own experience.  The fictional Jedi were NOT perfect.  Neither are we.  People who have walked this path with me know from my assignments and comments in discussions that I like the example of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, warts and all.  His faults are similar to my own.  His basic goodness and the ideal he stands for is something I aspire to in my own life.  So, I recognize that I need to be mindful of not truly listening, of not entering into a troubled persons experience by mouthing empty platitudes and sounding all sage and wise.  I need to be open to the positive power of love, to recognize that it is far more important to live the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law.  I also though want to be open, attentive, and a good listener, open to the will of the Force in my life and to serve it as he did.   I also have learned that there is no task beneath me or my dignity, unless I decide it is.  Part of humility to me is about being willing to serve others, and put them before I put myself.  To me, that is really what humility is all about, not debasing myself and hiding my light under a bushel basket.  It is to be true to who I actually am, and still be willing to walk this Jedi way, in love and service.

It has been my experience that, at least for me, choosing to be a Jedi is not an either/or experience, but rather a both/and experience.   I am married with a family.  I do not see or experience any conflict with my walking and living the Jedi way and being in such a relationship.  My love for my husband and family is non-possessive.  I love them for who they are and as they are.  My first response at the birth of both of my children was for the grace to love them enough to let them go and grow.  Give them roots, yes, but let them develop and use their wings too.   The practice of nonattachment is a process, a healthy and necessary developmental part of life for all individuals.  And, for certain, the Star Wars saga, particularly the prequels, illustrates the effects of not honoring this basic aspect of sentient development on the Jedi Order in the Old Republic.  However, I cannot imagine that governing my emotions and circumscribing my passion as stated in the Code mean that I not relate to or invest myself fully and openly to the full range of human experience.  Even Master Yoda finally conceded that Force-sensitive children might be better served by growing up with their families, rather than being taken from them at an early age to live at the Jedi Temple (cf. Revenge of the Sith).  It is more about being faithful to our calling as Jedi, as servants of the light and of the Force, by living our best lives, in accordance with our most basic beliefs, in the Code and in the Padawan’s Oath (see Ashla’s academy for the texts) in the circumstances in which we find ourselves.

So what does living this mean for me right now, today?  Well, I have been online much less these days because I have started my own small, part time business.  I clean houses while my children are at school and I do so for a small number of clients who struggle with difficult circumstances, such as disability, or hoarding, or juggling more than one job to make ends meet.   Yes, I am compensated for my work, but I still view it as a service, a way to make a difference, while helping my own family to meet expenses these days.  It’s very hard work and has been physically demanding at times, but it serves to augment my physical training, bringing that part of my practice into more focus and balance.  I have seen the difference in the peace of mind my clients feel as a result of the improved order in their house and lives and the sense that they can put their focus, care and concern in other areas of their lives.   I also read a wonderful article, The Point Within a Circle, by Bruce E. Nevin, in my husband’s Freemasonry magazine, The Trowel, which gave a wonderful lesson in geometry and philosophy about human nature and our interactions within ourselves, between each other, and with our environment.   The article’s main point is that independence is an illusion; it is autonomy, mastery of our personal boundaries, that makes it possible to relate well with others.  The article discusses how to skillfully navigate and understand our differences by choosing to develop a sense of perspective that bridges an either/or mentality, instead of taking sides, which results in polarization, which makes it much more difficult to resolve.  This article resonated very deeply within my heart, mind and spirit in a way that only magnifies my personal call as a walker of the Jedi way to bringing peace and serenity to all I encounter within my sphere of influence.  It is why I have chosen to respectfully sidestep the personal and political conflicts, in our communities online, within my extended family, and particularly all the polarization that is rampant in presidential election politics, that have been endemic in these trying times.  I believe that it is even more imperative that we who walk the Jedi way be the light that others are searching for in these days, and to not contribute to the darkness (of negativity, dissension, difficulty, and doubt) without by adding the darkness we carry within ourselves.  Let us choose to live our best lives, in harmony with our basic beliefs and practices as Jedi, within our current circumstances every day.

May the Force be with us all.

As far as the flower gardens are concerned, our day lilies have finally run their course (they’ve been in bloom for two months now), our sedum is starting to put on its late summer to autumn show, our St. John’s Wort and butterfly bushes have been keeping our honeybees and hummingbirds busy as well. Once the lilies are finished and have started to die back, I will be dividing them and planting some of the bulbs in the front yard for next year. We do lots of bulb plants (crocuses, tulips, daffodils, irises, and lilies), which are a boon to perennial gardens and have been very successful establishing some lavender plants as well. We tried bluebeard plants but they didn’t work out with our soil and the conditions, so they have been replaced with the more suitable azalea plants, which like New England’s more acidic soil conditions. I believe that next year we will finally be successful in having blooms in our flower beds from spring through autumn. Next year, we plan to establish a shade garden in our back yard with hostas and impatiens. We are really excited about the prospect. Our holly, lilac, forsythia, and hydrangea have all done exceptionally well this year. Our Japanese maple and burning bushes have continued to grow and thrive.

All in all, it’s been a great summer for the gardens. Even our berry harvest of strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries was a good one. It has definitely been a good season for being in touch with the living and sustaining Force. Gardening tends to put me in a meditative mood any way, and I find peace and strength in the energy exchange I sense between me and the living plants I tend. I have also been able to work side by side with the honeybees without disturbing them, or them me. These are not the only living creatures that I sense a strong closeness to during meditation in the gardens. For some reason and most especially since I began to consciously live, train, and study the Jedi way, I find birds of all kinds willing to come and stay nearby. Even the hummingbirds that visit our butterfly bush don’t seem to mind my presence.  They’ll even let me just watch them from the window.  It seems to me that they sense the meditative state and come to participate somehow. That’s what I sense anyway. It is a wonderful, uplifting experience. It isn’t something I experience every day, but it happens enough to give me pause to consider the connection.

In earlier holocron entries, I have shared about my struggle with people-pleasing, placating, and peacemaking at the expense of my own peace and the often resulting personal emptiness (of the existential kind). Jedi philosophy throughout the fiction in particular, speaks of the so-called “dark side.” Well, for me, that dark side in large part is major depression, which I have lived with for years, since the age of 13. It has reared its ugly head (picture the dementors from the Harry Potter series) in the last month, precipitated by my nephew’s birthday parties, because of the need to interact and be with other members of my family of origin and their spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends and their children. Again, my husband chose to avoid these gatherings because as it is, my family does not like him and he feels uncomfortable around them as a result. The children’s party was held at an arcade, and my eldest son was invited, but his younger brother was not because “he has autism.” Well, he wanted to go and when there my brother and his ex were forced to make space for him to participate like the other kids. My little guy may not have known quite what was up, but I did. It hurt. I found myself focusing solely on my children, the other children, and my nephew, the birthday boy. Then the boys and I went to my nephew’s family party. My little guy sobbed hysterically and had a meltdown because my mom, brother and sisters were there. They are so high energy and he gets overwhelmed in their presence. No one understood, the kids gawked and gawped at my son, and he cried to go to my husband’s parents house instead. Ouch. It hurt. Situations like this hit me in the gut and that critical voice inside my head (the one that sounds like my mother) goes off reminding me yet again that “I’m not good enough.”

So what to do? I’ve striven to recover my calm center and balance through meditation, physical training, and study. It’s not worked all that well, to be honest. But then, the other key ingredient in gaining perspective is time. I’ve gone back to the most basic meditation practice I was first given in my training here, to use the Jedi Code as a mantra and thread it through my days. In the days that my life seems like I’m climbing a sheer cliff, it has offered a handhold, a means to help pull myself up. It helps, but my dream life and the continuing negativity I’ve been sensing and dealing with have made it hard to fully let go and practice that detachment or as I rather call it, unattachment, that is so much a part of the Jedi way.

Detachment to me, implies a closing off, almost a diminishment of feeling. From experience, this has not led to self mastery over my emotions. It closes them off, but that only staves them off from the day where they need to be acknowledged and experienced. Unattachment means that you allow yourself to fully feel whatever you are feeling, to be open to investing yourself in it and then to let it go. I am married and have two children. I love them. I can’t imagine them not being part of my life. However, each of them continues to grow and change and constantly engage me in the process of letting go. Ultimately we all let go in death, the time of our return to the Force.

It is interesting that all of the major world religious traditions, psychology, and yes, Jedi philosophy all deal with the so-called “dark night of the soul.” It is like the dark cycle in photosynthesis, the final step in converting light to energy for the sustenance of the plant. It is a highly individual, transformative, interior process, one that makes it possible to advance in the process of submitting the Self, the Will to that of the Force. Much of the time, adversity, loss and death are catalysts to move our reluctant selves further along in this process. One of the things I really appreciate about our fictional Jedi brethren in the Star Wars universe is that this is something they all struggle with and fail at so often. They aren’t perfect. Neither are we. It is a process, one that I submit requires us to fully embrace our humanity and all that attachment entails. We cannot learn and practice unattachment unless we first experience attachment. Attachment is part of being fully human. The key is gaining a level of mastery where we are able to fully love, fully enter into life, and then let go and let live when we are called to do so. The death of my father and the grief that followed taught me how to love, let go, and move on, not by detaching, but by loving, fully and deeply, and then to let go.

I have truly enjoyed exploring the fictional and real-world philosophy of the Jedi Path. Interest in one has naturally led to the other. Not to mention how much groundwork was already laid and prepared for the day I decided this was the path I wished to pursue, due to my studies of history, philosophy, comparative religion and politics in my educational career both as a student and as a teacher, and now as a parent. So how do I apply what I’ve learned into my real, everyday life both on and offline?

I meditate everyday. I need at least an hour, and if I don’t make the time, the Force makes me make the time at bedtime. Seriously. I use my training and the self-discipline I have learned to manage my chronic health issues, including diabetes, which demands that I pay attention to regular, consistent physical training as well. My A1C tests that measure my long-term blood glucose control don’t lie. If I don’t train physically, my control slips. I use my communication skills to help mediate and resolve conflicts between people, achieve consensus in situations like the Autism Task Force committee on which I serve under our city’s school committee, and help bring people and ideas together for mutual benefit. I have done so in both the public and private spheres, in government, in the workplace, and in my family. I counsel people and teach them that the answers they so often seek already exist within them. I help them uncover that knowledge and then use it to move forward in their lives. I use the “heroic” image of our fictional brethren to give purpose and dignity to chores like laundry, housework, toilet training my autistic son, and all the repetitive, hidden parts of my life. I use my connection with the Force to help the healing process in others and myself. That same connection allows me to understand my autistic son when he can’t tell me what’s bothering him or when he needs his anxiety soothed or his pain diminished. My Jedi training and practice makes it possible for me to cope with all that having an autistic child really entails day to day. Believe me, this is not some role I play. It is my life, imperfect and fallible as it is.

I practice harmony with the environment, supporting the local ecosystem and buying from local farmers. That goes not only for fruits and vegetables but butter, milk, and eggs as well. I use no phosphate soap for my dishwasher and have eliminated or severely limited bleach use, hot water use, and antibacterial soap in order to lessen our household’s impact on the environment, which is particularly important when you have a septic system. Energy star appliances have been installed; energy efficient and eco friendly products used to reduce my family’s impact further have been put into use. I have been involved in disaster planning efforts for our region and taken appropriate steps and measures at home for our family and others who may be in need in the wake of a disaster. Respecting life as the Code calls Jedi to do for me means standing up for the rights of the disabled in our schools and society (I have a special interest in handicapped accessibility to public buildings, particularly historically significant ones), as well as engaging in activities to help ensure that those in need get the food, clothing and shelter they need in my local community. It means really examining my relationship to the food I consume, particularly animal products. It means purchasing fair trade coffee and cocoa. It means getting flu shots annually for everyone in my family and questioning antibiotic use when appropriate because it is in the interest of the public health in my community and beyond to do so. It’s about responsible stewardship of time, talent, and treasure. It’s about teaching my children these concepts and ideas, by words and example.

It means watching my speech and words in my dealings with others and myself (our self-talk can be harmful as well). It means really seeking that calm center when emotions spiral out of control so that I can help, not hurt others. Part of my personal Jedi practice involves uncovering the layers and piercing the veil to understand my deepest self and my connection to that all encompassing reality, the Force. I’m a bit mystical and metaphysical and that’s a side of me I share only online with my closest associates and sometimes a student. I take all these ideas and concepts and find ways to share them with others, especially those I teach. Even though Ashla has been down, I’ve had opportunities to continue to teach and share with others on this same path. My primary online activity is teaching and learning and sharing with others my thoughts on these things and personal experiences when I feel comfortable so doing.

“In our appetite for gossip, we tend to gobble down everything before us, only to find, too late, that it is our ideals we have consumed, and we have not been enlarged by the feasts but only diminished.” – Pico Iyer

What is the role and responsibility of a Jedi or walker of the Jedi path with respect to this issue, if any?  In my training here at Ashla Knights, I remember an assignment with a lecture that discussed something called “the path within the code”. Part of the assignment was to list the nine conclusions of that path and briefly discuss each.  There is a good deal of information in that “path within the Code” that I think is relevant to my point here, so I have taken an excerpt from my answer to that question from my Jedi Apprentice Level 2 assignment.

“Finally the introduction reminds us that we are responsible for our actions.

The path within the Jedi Code refers to how being mindful of its precepts allows a Jedi to live in harmony with and act in accordance with the will of the Force.  It shows the way to live in touch with the Force and ultimately to achieve some modicum of mastery, in the sense that one can be wholly open to the Force in a given situation such that he or she is acting in harmony with it and truly as the instrument of the Force.  It seems to me that regular reflection and mediation on the Code is key to tapping into the well of meaning and understanding behind the words.  The Code is easy enough to memorize but much harder to internalize.  I believe that a lifetime of meditation, study and training lay ahead in following this path.  This path leads to nine conclusions that enable a Jedi to know the will of the Force and act in accordance with that will in a given situation as it occurs.

Meditation - A most important daily task, and a challenging one.  Frequent pauses for assessment of one’s motives, actions, and understanding, makes the load light and increase the ability to catch and make amends for mistakes or for the times we react rather than respond from the calm center of the Force within.

Training - One of the first things I learned as a teacher was to admit that I don’t know when I don’t know.  Many learning opportunities have been created by that simple admission.  There is much that I have yet to learn and look forward to doing so.  Also, daily training and study instills discipline, which is a powerful stimulus to growth and transformation.

Loyalty - Jedi should first be loyal to the Force and then to each other.  This does not mean we will always agree, but that respect for each other should be our hallmark.  We are on the same journey together – those who have been on the path longer and who serve in governing bodies deserve due respect and consideration.

Integrity means to live with honesty - with oneself, first of all, then with others.  Truth can be used as a weapon however, so it is incumbent on us to be mindful of what we say and how we say it.  Sometimes it is best not to speak at all.  I have learned only to offer advice when asked to and to treat my advice as a gift to be used by its recipient how he or she wishes.

Morality - A personal, internal code of right and wrong.  To some extent, morality affects societal norms and even laws; so it is important to acknowledge this and live with it.  It is imperative that we understand that others see our words and actions through this lens and that reflects not only on ourselves personally, but on the Jedi way as a whole.  Even still, we are not the morality police and great care must be taken in any exercise of judgment on another’s motives or actions.

Discretion - can be best summed up in this statement “The goal of the Jedi should be to create and preserve an atmosphere in which justice can flourish, rather than try to create justice themselves.”

Bravery - is simply to know what is best in a situation – whether to make a stand, walk away, or negotiate a possible solution – and then to do what is necessary.

Fighting - If a situation can be resolved with words or other means that avoid harm or injury to others, such means are best employed.

Dependence -While the Force is always there to be called upon; it should not be used when you can do it yourself.  Using your personal capabilities to the fullest and working to improve and use them is good for personal understanding and growth and can be used in most situations.”

Our communities are harmed, and the ideals we claim to uphold in our lives are sullied, whenever we choose to speak ill of one another and do so in a public fashion.  I understand that there is a need, a time and a place for constructive criticism and feedback, but not when it is or becomes personal.  One of the biggest problems I have seen, and I have fallen into the trap myself, is that there may be an objective truth in a given situation, but even all the people involved telling their sides of the story will not yield that truth.  We all filter our information, experiences and perceptions in a way that makes it possible to miss the truth, even though we believe we possess that truth.  It is even worse when we choose to speak parts of the story, because after all, it’s what we know, and we believe it to be true, but it turns out that it is not what we thought it was.

I’ve spent considerable time in meditation on this issue and have spent some time reading about this issue as well, because this issue has had a profound effect in people’s daily lives. After all, our news is crowded with the latest “scoop” on this or that celebrity.  And, of course, the “news” is never good, never positive, never uplifting.  And, somehow, we criticize those who are the subject of such “scoops” for not being good sports, or learning from such stories.  Of course, if a story is wrong, the correction is never as prominent as the original story.  However, damage can be done even when there is truth to the tale.

Two of the major world religions, both with a strong philosophical bent that goes beyond mythology, have some very stern words about the power of speech to do harm.  Buddhism speaks at great length about “right speech.”  Several sources indicate that this is a major topic of importance and is addressed at great length and in great detail for adherents to model their own lives and conduct after.  Judaism has a stern prohibition against lashon hara or evil speech.  One article I consulted talks about gossip, evil speech, as “the triple murder threat” outlining its effects on the speaker, hearer or reader, and its subject(s).  Jewish tradition even strongly prohibits speech that is true, if it has the power to harm someone’s reputation or threaten his or her privacy.

Yale University has a law professor who has gone so far as to even publish books on this topic.  Daniel J. Solove wrote a tome called The Future of Reputation: Gossip, Rumor and Privacy on the Internet.  A précis of the book explains:  “A trail of information fragments about us is forever preserved on the Internet, instantly available in a Google search.  A permanent chronicle of our private lives—often of dubious reliability and sometimes totally false—will follow us wherever we go, accessible to friends, strangers, dates, employers, neighbors, relatives, and anyone else who cares to look.  This engrossing book, brimming with amazing examples of gossip, slander, and rumor on the Internet, explores the profound implications of the online collision between free speech and privacy.

Daniel Solove, an authority on information privacy law, offers a fascinating account of how the Internet is transforming gossip, the way we shame others, and our ability to protect our own reputations.”

What we say and share here in our communities with and about each other always has this potential.  It is something we need to be mindful of in our dealings with each other.  It is important that an atmosphere of mutual respect and consideration for people’s offline lives prevails in our communities.  The words we post today may haunt others and us even far into the future.  There is a very simple test for our speech – Is it true?  Are you sure?  Is it nice?  Does it have the potential to harm or hurt another person, their privacy, and their reputation?  Tone, sarcasm, and much humor translate rather poorly into print, particularly without a person’s body language or eye contact and expression to provide context.  All too often, such speech comes across as malicious, hurtful, and mean, even if that wasn’t the writer’s intention.  As a person with a sarcastic bent to my own humor, I know this all too well and have hurt others with my words and how I express them.

As companions on the Jedi way, I wish to share these words with you in a spirit of application of the principles in which we believe in our very real world.  Words can wound and kill as surely as a lightsaber in the fiction or any real world weapon in use in our world today.  A Missouri girl took her own life because of the words posted by another person on her Myspace page.  And that’s just an example we have heard because the story was made public.

Let us all be mindful of our words and may our more experienced community members serve as models for our newer ones.

These are the links for the articles and book referenced above.

http://yalepress.yale.edu/yupbooks/book.asp?isbn=9780300124989

http://www.aish.com/literacy/mitzvahs/Gossip_The_Triple_Murder_Threat.asp

A good deal of what I’ve been learning these past weeks has been more about how not  to behave, talk and act.  I’ve been very disappointed and saddened by some of what I’ve been seeing from various others in my daily life, both on and offline.  I’ve also come to realize that some of what is bothering me in others’ words and actions are things I need to work on myself.  My diabetic control over the last few months has been slipping and therefore the condition not only persists but has progressed.  It’s been a struggle to maintain a consistent and effective activity level on a daily basis.  I haven’t been as healthy as I would like to be, and have been struggling to stop the cycle of getting sick, recovering, and then getting sick again.  I was knocked on my butt for two weeks because of an eye infection.  I don’t heal as well as I used to.  It has been discouraging at times and frustrating.  I’ve been fighting off the darkness inside (I have chronic, recurrent depression) that threatens lately to swallow me.  I’ve been here before in my life and for the first time since I have chosen to walk this spiritual path called the Jedi way.  So it’s been a trial by fire of sorts.  Can I lean on what I say I believe and find support and a way through my struggles right now?  It’s been challenging to say the least.  It’s been more difficult because of the isolation I’ve been feeling with the loss of daily contact with our community here.  But still I persist and find the inner strength needed to keep on going day to day.

I am a stay at home parent and homemaker.  It’s a stereotyped and traditional female role, one that is not as common anymore.  It has been a lonely and isolating experience at times.  There is another stay at home parent on my street, a man who works from his house, while his spouse works outside the home.   Now, due to the economy, I need to reenter the workplace.  I am hoping to work as an assistant teacher in the local schools, or perhaps as an aide.  I am a high school history teacher by profession, but would rather work with the special needs population or more directly with students.  Teachers today have far more administrative responsibilities; I prefer direct work with the children instead.  This would also make it possible to leave work at work so that I can continue to focus on my family responsibilities at home.  When I first left the workplace to stay with my new baby in early 2000, I remember the resentment I sensed and experienced from the rest of the “sisterhood” who chose to stay in the workplace after starting their families.  I chose what was best for me and for my family.  After my second son was born and we discovered he has autism, my staying home made early intervention and home therapy possible.  Even today, my life revolves around my son’s schedules and needs; my little guy still gets home therapy twice a week and generally I am called to his school once a week for various things like bringing another change of clothes because he had a toileting accident or to deal with an incident because he can be self abusive or to deal with medication adjustments and managing side effects following his regular neurologist appointments.   I am concerned about balancing the needs of a job and employer and interruptions like the ones I typically am able to respond to simply because I am available.

I told someone recently that much of what I do in my daily life is taken for granted and is only noticed when it isn’t done.  I told this person that walking the Jedi path keeps me sane and grounded and makes it possible to maintain the self-discipline necessary to keep faithfully fulfilling my responsibilities.  My path acknowledges the value and worth of what I do and assures me I am doing what needs to be done whether what I do is recognized by others or taken for granted.  It really helps.  It makes it possible to deal with the daily challenges our family faces with my little guy.  He has had a tough time this week.  He has not slept well, his medications really affect him physically (we are still tapering up to the new dosage) but have not made a significant dent in his obsessive-compulsive behaviors like repeating commercials or dialogue from TV shows or the verbal prompts that are part of applied behavioral analysis therapy.  He’s not eating well either because he can’t eat when he needs to know what everyone else is eating around him.  He’s been anxious and worried as well, and like so many little ones, thinks that he can change things just by saying “it’s sunny” when it’s raining and then gets upset when saying it doesn’t change things.  It’s still raining, no matter how many times he says he wants it to be sunny.

On top of all of this, my father-in-law is sick with a number of acute and chronic medical problems that have put him into the hospital.  He is now in a teaching hospital in the city because the local hospital seemed to have written him off, saying there was nothing they could really do for him.  He’s getting better very slowly.  Of course, my spouse’s family is fairly close and we’ve been trying to all pitch in and help my mother-in-law.  My in-laws have three children still in school - elementary, middle and high school respectively.  We’ve been taking turns watching the children and taking my mother-in-law to the hospital in town.

The take home message here?  For me, it’s been a time to put what I say I believe into practice, having the rubber meet the road.  It has reminded me that I need to acknowledge and recognize my own limitations and humanity as well as that of others who choose to walk this path.  I’ve seen much of how not to be, speak and act and some of those lessons have been learned by my own falling short of what I say I believe.  The Jedi path is still a valuable and valid way to live even though there are so few real-life role models to look to as examples.  As you can see, I miss my friends and community here.  You have been a lifeline and support to me and I know we will reconnect again soon.

We also have begun to establish a vegetable garden as well.  We cooperate with some friends of ours and my in-laws, to share the bounty between us and grow different things so that we can share our harvests with each other.  I am really looking forward to this very much and if our bounty is too much for our three families, our friends have connections to a community gardening cooperative that gives produce to the needy, so we can share with them also.  Waste not, want not.  It’s a small-scale project, but I really like its cooperative nature and how we can all try our hands at various types of veggies.  My in-laws are great with squash and eggplant and have been even growing asparagus.  They also are the herb gardeners as well.  They also grow grapes and raspberries as well.  We are tomato, strawberry, and hopefully this year bean, pepper, and cucumber growers as well.  We also have wild blackberry patches and some blueberries as well.  We tend to leave those to our fine-feathered friends, but have enjoyed them as well.  Our friends are great with brussel sprouts, broccoli, lettuce, and beets.  So as you can see, I am really excited and looking forward to the growing season.  What’s also wonderful is that my two sons get to help and watch plants grow from seed to harvest.  It makes the vegetables somehow more appealing and they are more willing to eat them as well.  All in all, it’s a great thing and a wonderful way to connect with the Living Force.

What you need to do is post in here what a Jedi is to you and why you are a Jedi. We are not looking for a multi-page essay but just answer these two questions in your own words. The only thing it must meet is the bare bones minimum of what a Jedi is which is:

“Jedi are a noble order of protectors, guardians of peace and justice, unified by their belief and observance of the Force. They are individuals who actively work to improve their own life and the lives of those around them every day.”

I realized that I really wanted to take some time for reflection and meditation before responding to these questions for myself.

So I thought I would start with the version of the Code I use as a mantra, a signpost and guide:

There is no emotion; there is only peace.
There is no ignorance; there is only knowledge.
There is no passion; there is only serenity.
There is no chaos; there is only harmony.
There is no death; there is only the Force.

An alternate version, which expresses these ideas in an even more concise and practical way, follows here.

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet the Force.

When I completed basic academy training at my home site, Ashla Knights, I made the following promises. When I made these promises, they form the core of my personal practice of the Jedi way.

I promised:

To uphold and live by the Jedi Code.
To respect all life and help protect those weaker than myself.
To use the Force only for good, never in anger, hate or fear.
To improve myself so I may be an example to others.
To provide guidance to those who seek it, while not seeking to lead or rule them.

I promised to be faithful to these words and strive to do so, in word and deed every day of my life.

Now for the practical part of living out these words:

I strive to continue to study, train, and improve mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, to strengthen all four of these pillars, without neglecting any of them. In my personal life, I seek to be a center of calm and peace for my family, to faithfully fulfill the daily duties of my life’s station at this time without complaint, without stinting, because it is part of my discipline and practice to do so. Before all, I strive for self-mastery of all those pitfalls of the journey mentioned in the Jedi Code. I strive to give without counting the cost, to do the right thing, whether noticed or unnoticed. I strive to practice humility by being willing to serve, not to be served, to give up being right in order to achieve what is best for the greater good, to give up seeking status and power and prestige where practicable and possible (which for me, has meant forgoing seeking governmental office) because I believe that to be incompatible with the path I choose to walk. For now, being a Jedi means living a hidden life, where my actions and deeds speak for my beliefs and me more than my words.

In the online communities I call home, I strive to practice what I say I believe and what I teach, by word and example. I seek to be diplomatic, respectful, and willing to try to step into another’s shoes, especially when I disagree with them. I strive to bring people together for our common purpose, to improve our lives and make a difference in the lives of those around us, especially those in need of our help.

This is what I believe and strive to live.