The other day I was on the telephone with two separate friends. Both are very close to me and I care very deeply for them, but recently I have begun to feel that I am no longer an adequate person to discuss their problems with them. I have started to see the great divide between their lives and my life. They are two of my dearest friends and I will always be there for them, but because my path provides a level of wisdom, knowledge and practice that in most cases helps me to recognize, identify and effectively deal with many of life’s challenges, I feel the advice I give is often beyond their understanding. The words are easy enough to understand but the essence the words together embody simply falls on minds and hearts that either can’t comprehend or do not care.
Its not their fault, its my fault. I know I should simply listen and not speak unless asked to do so, but when I hear the issues and problems they are faced with, solutions immediately present themselves in my mind and I want to share with them my insights with the hope of taking away the pain and struggle they’re going through. I have long felt that philosophy is like a foreign language and to speak it, many do not understand. The more fluent I become, the greater the communication divide grows. I wonder if will come to a point where all I do is dispense enigmatic platitudes and philosophical scripture like some physician who knowingly and routinely dispenses a prescription. Sort of like, “just take two of these and call me Monday morning”.
One can eventually develop to the point where they find themselves at a place of completely and utter understanding of things, and advice given from this great knowledge and wisdom can often seem devoid of compassion or empathy. Sometimes I feel myself on the periphery of this philosophical place. It reminds me of a parent teaching a child the world no…”no, because I said so thats why”. Or trying to save a child the time and energy of failure, “don’t do that, trust me … you’ll thank me later”. Children need to find out things for themselves, they need to test the boundaries of their world and often there is very little grown ups can say or do to curb this behavior. I guess that never goes away, but unlike a child testing his or her environment, grown ups test the boundaries of their reality with pain and suffering.
Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity was the act of doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Perhaps there is an innate measure of insanity that enables us to continue to crash into philosophical, idealogical, spiritual and empirical walls over and over again hoping that the result will be different.
Honestly…it’s not about, “why won’t they listen to me”? Its about why won’t they learn and in doings so, my advice might resonate with them and actually help. I was upset when I got off the phone the other day and I knew that by that feeling what I felt I had failed. I didn’t fail my friends though, I failed myself for I had lost my objectivity. I know people and I know these two particular people quite well and I should not have been easily effected by their close-mindedness. I sat and contemplated my emotions and I arrived at why I was upset and angry and it is because I was being selfish. I was putting my wants and desires before their needs. I wanted them to stop crashing into the same walls and my desire for them to hear my words and immediately see reason cause me become impassioned.
That was wrong.
My path puts life in perspective FOR ME, and I was trying to push my insights, interpretations and understandings upon others. The truths I understand, accept and rely upon are not those others rely upon, but because I care for these individuals, my emotions clouded this truth and therefore pissed me hell off.
I have to be mindful and always consider the origin of my thoughts and advice when dealing with those who are not on my path. I want the best for those I love and want them to not have to suffer or to experience pain, but some must learn on their own. It just hurts me to see them to see them continually hurting themselves.