April 26, 2012
April 25, 2012
When to quit.
The above image is minesweeper. Until yesterday, it was a great waste of my time. I liked to play, but the fun had left it. I played from obligation. Pages are slow to load on dial-up internet, so I can usually clear out a board within opening two or three pages. But those were not the only times I played. Sometimes I would sit for hours attempting to beat my record. You see, I’ve beaten minesweeper on the expert level on two consecutive boards, and had convinced myself that three consecutive wins would prove, once and for all, that I am master of the minesweeper. My wife, she noted my arbitrary number. This was easily justifiable by the addicts “just one more” line as I explained that 3 is a very important number. BS.
As my interest in becoming productive increases, I find wastes of time like this to be less appealing. I played my last game and laughed as the mines exploded. And although that nagging voice would have me believe that I have been defeated, I am reminded that if playing is a complete and joyless waste of time, the only master of minesweeper is one that doesn’t play.
In remedy, I have been looking for time management skills. Another irony is that, outside of astrophysics, time itself is a constant that cannot be managed. All attempts of doing so are actually management of focus. This is another return to basics.
My plan is to establish a list. It will be an outline type list which will show the breakdown from general areas I’d like to address such as yard work or KoA related tasks all the way down to very specific tasks like cut wood and schedule a show. I know myself fairly well and tend to work best in two hour work blocks before getting burned out on any one thing. The rotation will be attended very loosely. If I’m enjoying the work and can complete a task, then it shall be done. Otherwise, at a two hour mark other projects will be worked on. Projects will alternate between very physical activities with lighter ones so that tedious tasks give my body a resting period and physical activities will likewise give my mind a break from thought. Another critical point I’d like to mention is zen. Not the mystical kind, the clearing of my mind from all the things that need to be done so that all of me can be used on the task at hand. Having written said outline, there is no need to hang onto everything and let it bog me down. I work on what I am doing until done, then onto something else. If interruptions which require reaction like phone calls occur, the current project will be placed on hold until that has been taken care of. Luckily, I have enough room so that tools and materials can be stowed quickly which will reduce the time it takes to switch from one task to another. This brings me to my next point: fluidity. Physically I can move very quickly from one task to another without hesitation. I find the pressure to think quickly reduces my quality of thought and I will be working on that while doing everything mentioned above. Lastly, I’m no robot and I know all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. There will be plenty of that, rest assured. But, it will remain isolated from when I’m working so that I can monitor my productivity.
This post has been filed under product development. I am the product.
April 16, 2012
Conversations with myself
Ying: Could we say this is an emotion? It seems to me this arises from beyond the mind…
David: Such a tantalizing concept that one could have no possible way of knowing.
Is it so hard to believe that the mind is that encompassing?
Ying: Of course, the mind is very encompassing, but not in the context I was using it. Here, I only meant thought and emotion, and emotion arising from thought or unconscious conditioning. To me, that doesn’t encompass the arising of inner peace or calm from a space of “no-thought”, though, if it does for you please let me in on how. 
David: I’m sure your training with Master Raven will eventually cover such esoterics. However, I reached it through trance, more precisely lucid dreaming.
[flashback]
I floated in an amniotic void. There were no directions and everything was solid black. I could see myself, my body, suspended in nothingness. Of note, a pervading silence made all experiences of what I had until that point called no-mind seem like white noise turned to full volume. To my side appeared a 4 inch tv screen in which an ongoing dream was being presented. To look at the screen was to hear the contents; to look away made all fall silent. I eventually entered into the dream, but the void has intrigued me since. In that place I still am, have never left, and will return when I die.
[/flashback]
The above example is working with firewalls, but it can be done on a global level within one’s self. Good luck remembering it though.
To speak in terms we’ve exchanged before, you simply change the seat of identity (perception) from the wave to the ocean. Doing so doesn’t let you know everything as one might speculate. It takes you into a place where all memory, time, and space disappear.
There are many degrees. Go even deeper and even the experience of awareness dissipates. Some examples at various stages: If Ying is a picture projected on a silver screen, who or what is the silver screen? Ying is. Martial artists can experience a certain state during a fight; and, it is still their mind (albeit totally silent yet uberfunctional) that can beat you or get beaten. Experienced drivers with sleep deprivation will drive home and not remember how they got there, yet their car is in the driveway. While this technically constitutes a memory problem, also consider that your current question of how you are not the no-thought calm is one also. Have you ever experienced being knocked out? It feels like that, without the pain, when you come back. (unplugged) While not a suggestable goal, it is what it is.
All of these states are created by the mind, just as you are finding out a cluttered, shallow thinking mind is also. The only difference is how well you can identify what you are experiencing as a product of yourself.
Ying: I see O.O
Am I right to say your pointing to the t.v screen to be who I am truly, if the conceptual self of me is held by the t.v screen?
If it is, I see what you are saying entirely. I am reluctant to use another reference to Tolle’s teaching, but its the same as what he refers to when he uses the analogy of a projector screen to point to our true selves beyond form. I’ll see if I can find the video…
Here it is: Eckhart appears and talks at around 11 minutes in.
David: Yes, I think you do. I will go farther for clarity:
They are both you. It’s just a matter of where you reside, where you are looking, and which one you identify with as self. Tolle is right in “I am”. Most people are trapped inside an image being projected on a screen. They spend their whole lives looking for something outside the screen by looking far and wide within it. Others attempt to step out. They think they reside in “I am” but dependence on the focus of I-amness is indicative that they have not. And then there are those that make it, get bored, and choose to return as “bodhisattvas”. I am well aware that I exist beyond the veil – and choose to temporarily reside in this form as much as possible because its impermanence makes it special. Thus, the journey of the tarot both begins and ends with the fool.
Source: forceacademy.co.uk
0- THE FOOL
Know naught!
All ways are lawful to innocence.
Pure folly is the key to initiation.
Silence breaks into rapture.
Be neither man nor woman, but both in one.
Be silent, babe in the egg of blue, that thou mayest grow to bear the lance and graal!
Wander alone, and sing! In the Kings Palace his daughter awaits thee.
Book of Thoth, Aleister Crowley
April 10, 2012
My heroes and Me
We have lost the ability to become great in a mythological sense. Society has pushed the envelope of every frontier such that advancement requires specialists who spend a lifetime for one breakthrough in one specific arena. The day of the common man’s ability to blaze his own trail is over, and we are left longing for not greatness but simpler times when we could have been great.
There are a few problems with this:
1) What we were given as fundamentals were the results of previous trail blazing. This means had we lived during simpler times, we would not have the advantage of our present hind-sight. If we are starting where they left off, how could we expect results then if we can’t expect them now? It’s interesting how everything new always feels like the first time.
2) Contrary to popular belief – mythological heroes, by definition, were uncommon. For every hero passed down to us from the ancients there are millions of normal people that lived, toiled, and died without notice. There is little difference today; even Mother Theresa is waiting for sainthood. This inconvenient truth helps polarize the ideal from any specific hero as being ideal does not necessarily yield rich, famous, or powerful by today’s standards.
3) Given the specificity of each heroic achievement, no accomplished individual can escape the critical eye of a meta-tagged, global culture. Does being a professional football player, Olympic athlete, humanitarian, soldier, or technology developer alone insure authentic heroism? The nature of the specificity takes away from the well-roundedness of character. In a mythological sense, we are only capable of being a one-pony-hero that dies on contact with anything outside of that one extraordinary skill.
4) The model for greatness, by definition, must be modeled by society. While one can be great to a few people, on a mythological scale it counts for nothing. There have been many people that lived and died unappreciated by their culture only to be understood and celebrated much later. This could start many conversations in itself, but for now I present it as a paradox of attempting to define oneself in such a way that requires definition by others. In total there are 3 choices of negotiation. A) Strategic position within what is selling. B) Do your thing larger than life and hope others jump on board. C) The hybrid – fake or compromise with what is selling until fame allows enough leverage to return to or reveal your true nature. Of note, option A only works if one willing to align with the sellable. Option B is the long shot and is used exclusively by true contenders of illusory greatness. Option C is a most despicable trade of constitution for notoriety wherein public definition has dominated self-definition.
My conclusions:
The pedagogical function of heroism is found in how to live one’s life. It has never been truly achieved by anyone, but is still useful for inspiration. This means “the ideal” is, by definition, what we think it is. The shortage crisis of heroes is a proportionate result of a mythological shortage. When the crowds roar with each person trying to be heard, bake a loaf of bread and sell them sandwiches.
Who knows; ya might get famous.
March 29, 2012
The burden of love.
As an employee I was troubled by poor assessments from supervision at first. Later, I was troubled by not meeting my own productivity goals. Almost every day I would go home with my heart strings tied in knots. I’d use the entire evening to cool down, and start thinking about ways to make tomorrow even better. But I seldom could; it was always one unforeseen thing or another that would kill the production number: one of my crew would be out or come in sick, some bs meeting that would sap minutes from our floor time, a problem in some other part of the plant that supplied us parts would make us scramble to avoid down time, machines would break down, and the list is endless. I’d tell myself and crew that we did our best, but the logic fell short of purpose – at least for me anyway. After several years of marked improvement, I had convinced myself that I lacked what I called “true leadership abilities”.
My method I selected for coping with this problem (and others) was beyond my years. I say this because I dove head-first into philosophies that are thousands of years old. My non-attachment and giving up where completely justified in Buddhavacana (the words of Buddha). So, in them I took refuge. Much like Gollum buried deep within a cave, I stroked my ring of peace until my eyes could see no more; peace is my precious.
I remained there for several years, and in that place I was consumed. My identity lost to the ocean of awareness. My body cast to ruin as it was now a vestigial organ. I lost my manhood to be a god, a god that hides in bliss while everyone else remained poisoned with the troubles of men. And I died. Not a physical death, that would have been insignificant. In removing a burden, one removes the thing itself. My eagerness to end the pain of caring cost me the things cared about. I no longer appreciated the touch of my wife, playing with my children, the coolness of a summer breeze, or the warmth of an early spring sun. This was an unacceptable trade-off.
From east to west and back again:
How could not caring about my production possibly make be a better foreman? How could not caring about life make me a better person? I was not on a spiritual path, I was running and quitting. Was I trying to change what I was doing, or how I felt about it? But now, I’m different. The love of the game is why I play. After taking such a long time off from living, certain things and to-do lists have grown very long. It excites me to have so much to do now.
March 27, 2012
No Perfect Wave
*Knock Knock* Yes, who’s there? It’s your neighbor from 305. *chain rattles then door opens* Ah, why didn’t you say so. What brings you this way? Uh, yes.. I was wondering if you had some time I could borrow. Thyme? Like the seasoning? Oh no, time – as in minutes, hours, days? It doesn’t work that way child, can I help you with something? I don’t think you can do it for me, but how about experience. Do you have any of that lying around that you don’t need? *awkward grins exchanged* You’re asking me to Give you experience; I don’t think it works that way either. Why don’t you explain the situation and perhaps I can give you some pointers. Ah well, yes you see; I’m trying to cook supper and I’m hungry and I don’t know how to cook. I haven’t eaten in two days because I’m afaid I’ll mess things up if I start mixing ingredients and heating things. Well, that’s perfectly understandable – not being able to cook and all. But there is no reason to go hungry for fear of getting it wrong. Start with what you know child. Make something simple that you can follow the directions on, and that will let you live long enough to experiment on what works and what doesn’t. Here, take this banana bread to tide you over till you get something made. *munches while listening* If you think you can wait around until you’re confident enough to cook five star cuisine before you decide to light an eye on the stove, you’ll be dead before you’ve boiled your first egg. Now take what I say, and use it in all the things you do. If you wait around for the perfect wave, you’ll never be a surfer. If you wait for the heavens to part and give you a sign of that special someone, you’ll never know love. And if you wait until you’ve got enough experience to have kids, your house will always be silent. Nobody knows everything when they’re starting out – nobody. But we learn, and that’s the fun of it. And once you enjoy learning like that, there is very little life can throw at you that you can’t handle with a smile. *curtain closes, theatre darkens*
Spotlight on tenent of 306 *center stage – aside*
uncountable dead sailors, speak across the brine
Come into the vital slipstream, the water is fine
we warn you now, it will hurt and not end well
but it’s a life never lived that is existance in hell
March 21, 2012
The Force and You
What do Star Wars buffs mean when they say, “May the force be with you”? Why do they always talk about heroes, psychoanalytic theories, hot button topics, and meditation?
The answer is found in Force Realism itself. Force Realism is a conscious lifestyle decision to embrace life. Although the expressions it takes varies from practitioner to practitioner, some commonalities exist. Lets consider the following quote:
“Briefly formulated, the universal doctrine teaches that all the visible structures of the world – all things and all beings – are the effects of a ubiquitous power out of which they rise, which supports and fills them during the period of their manifestation, and back into which they must ultimately dissolve. This is the power known to science as energy, to the Melanesians as mana, to the Sioux Indians as wakonda, to the Hindus as shakti, and the Christians as the power of God. Its manifestation in the psyche is termed, by the psychoanalysts, libido. And its manifestation in the cosmos is the structure and flux of the universe itself.”
Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Part II – “The Cosmogonic Cycle”; Chapter 1 – “Emanations”; Section 1 – “From Psychology to Metaphysics”
It may seem like Joseph Campbell is saying FR is religion, but he is not. He is saying here that mythology and religion were formed from the desire to live; they are expressions of humanity searching for it’s own essence so that it may be built upon whereby producing a more fulfilling life. And thanks to the psychologists’ incomplete understanding of the term “libido”, we also see that unification (being at peace with one’s self and world) and a desire to experience more of life in terms of range and depth have been substituted by sexual orgasm in the minds of most people. Looking closer at the word “Libido”, we find the following:
libido (plurallibidos)
- (common usage) Sexual urges or drives.
- Good God man, control your libido!
- (psychology) Drives or mental energies related or based on sexual instincts but not necessarily sexual in and of themselves.
- For Freudians, libido means the desire to “unite and bind” with objects in the world.The ego as an organ which seeks to synthesize thoughts in the psyche is said to be driven by libido or eros.
- Antonyms
- (in common usage): boredom
Or, can a deeper meaning be found? If we know the antithesis of libido is boredom, surely a synonym is “invigorating”. While sex can indeed be just that, libido must be the cause of sexuality. Sexuality, like religion and mythology is the search for the experience of life. I propose that psychologists connect libido with sex because it is a profound drive understood by many. However, all that glitters is not gold, and this brings us to our next point.
If Force Realism is study of the beat we all dance to even when we can’t name the tune, why do we need think about it? The practical application of the study of Force Realism is to experience life with optimal clarity whereby people achieve their greatest potentialities by consciously cultivating a healthy mind, body, and spirit. From here the camps are divided, and they split all the way down to the individual. As universal as the mono-myth itself, everyone has an idea on what is the best way to go about it.
May you know that you are alive, and do it with skill.
March 3, 2012
Q & A
Q: Master Edge, why do you post so harshly about people in news articles who have been arrested for child molestation?
A: There are several reasons, each building upon the other. I belong to the Fraternal Order of Ashla Knights. This online organization is aligned with the abolishment of modern slavery. Child molestation is one facet of the beast that I’ve always abhorred, but has become one of my signature causes on social networking sites. If my comments seem rancorous or vindictive toward the accused, it is because they are.
Please do keep in mind the context in which I say these things. As I am neither an impartial juror nor judge, I am not charged with considering everyone innocent until proven guilty. As a person with no contact with the accused, I’m not even responsible for giving them human decency. For you and I, the accused are nothing more than a name, mug shot, and story. None of these three factors are within my scope or ability to change. Therefore, my comments about the accused are directed toward MY audience and are intended to affect them.
A more accurate question would ask why I want to point out these people and their deeds with such regularity. It’s true, I comment on every child molestation/rape/slavery case I read about in the news. I do this because although it is a tired story to you and me, a headline that can be ignored, it is a vivid, horrid, and life changing event to each and every child that is abused in this manner. Awareness on the issue needs to be raised, again and again, until this no longer happens.
What are the odds that I have no sexual predators in my social networking friends if one in six children are molested? Firstly, I think it’s only fair that they know if I ever find out (and they are of my local friends) that I will rip their arms from their sockets. Secondly, I also understand the need to justify actions. Yes, child predators sleep well because they have justified what they do. As I am the friend that will let someone know they have a boogy in their nose, I’m also the same friend that will tell them how f’n crazy they are and remind them that it is not acceptable.
Lastly, I cannot use social media to harp on the leading form of child abuse all that much, which is neglect. Those stories go unheard by the nature of the abuse, and when they do they are not headline material. Thusly, I can’t attack those that never interact with their children in the minds of my readers, and am resolved to do so upon those that do in inappropriate ways.
Why I do it.
To every seeker of lofty ideals, for those that hold a philosophy which embraces betterment, and especially those motivated enough to promulgate those said ideals and philosophies, there is a self-defeating desire. I call this desire self-defeating because at the base of every motivation lies an inadequacy, weakness, or unmet challenge. A warning is necessary because there is a damage done by stopping to analyze what is instead of the continued push forward toward what should be. This blog entry is one such pause, and the reasons why is only a pause.
There have been times I sat and held my phone in contemplation. I lie to myself in the idea that two phone calls, one to Derek and the other to Justin would end the pressure. I could walk away and disappear into the shadows. It would solve the issue that I’m not living up to what I should be by removing the expectations away from the public eye, but not mine. Even when I don’t see the problem to be solved it still exists, as do the questions I don’t think to ask. So, running away isn’t an option; my understanding prohibits this.
I remind myself that my focus is not to sway what others think of me, but to train, walk the path of Ashla, resolve my inner conflicts and shape my outer form – one way or another, and to help a few people along the way. So this idea of external pressure is nonsense when what is really being focused on here is my relationship with myself. With this realization, I equalize the playing field.
Immediate relief can be had in the miracle pill of acceptance. I could stop here because I’m the only one I have to prove myself to, and I’m very good at believing my BS. But no, all the cotton in my cabinet couldn’t pad my ears from hearing the call to adventure, the desire to improve life conditions, and in some way leave my mark upon this world. This drive is one of life longing to be lived. And having remembered all of this – that is where I leave you, to go out and salvage this day. I must live.
Fruit trees
These little sweeties arn’t much to look at now, but someday they will provide free fruit, jams, jellies, and pies for the family. On the right we have a 3-n-1 apple tree that has yellow delicious, gala, and and fuji apples. The tree on the left is a fruit coctail tree which will bear peaches, plums, nectarines, and apricots. I will be updating this blog with pictures of them once they have matured and started producing fruit (2-10 years from the original post). Because apple trees tend to have a heavy/scarce fruit bearing cycle, an additional apple tree will be planted next year so that every year is a good one.
